I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nicole vs. Life
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
