During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize