She went from zero to smokin in five shots
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
