Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
