Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
