the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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