How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
