tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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