I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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