i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
