you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
