it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
