Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize