I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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