She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
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Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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