Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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