I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
