On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
