After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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