You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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