last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
