i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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