I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize