You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize