So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
