I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
