Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize