i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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