no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
