Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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