I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
