My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
