I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
