thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
