when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
