Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
