Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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