we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
