My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
