i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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