It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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