i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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