I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize