this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
