whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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