im drinking this country out of the recession.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
