Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
