rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
