Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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