this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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