i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
