There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
