everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
