i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize