i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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