I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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