you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
