She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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