You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
