I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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