If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
