I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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