You can't special order awesome
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
